Who is making you unhappy?

When you are unhappy with life, it is easy to blame others for your circumstances and make excuses for why you cannot change. It is much easier to look at the world through victim’s eyes than it is to wake up, step up and own the part you are playing in your unhappiness.

A person who looks at the world through victim’s eyes will always believe that someone else is responsible for the situation they are in. They blame their partners, work colleagues, children, parents, friends or even the place they live for a life they are not happy with.

If you have someone like this in your life, it is very important to protect yourself emotionally. Set firm boundaries with this person to avoid getting sucked into their vortex of doom and gloom. In fact, my dear old Dad refers to them as ‘the ministers for doom and gloom’.

Seriously, they are absolute mood hoovers who, given the opportunity, will suck the life out of you. You can’t help these people until they make a new decision to help themselves and get some professional help.

“Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy.” Dr Wayne Dyer

Choosing to blame others for your situation leaves you stuck, and you will stay stuck until you take ownership of the part that you have played in creating your problem. Yes! You are creating your reality by the way you view the world, your thoughts, your actions and the decisions you make, your pattern of physiology, focus, language and meaning.

Looking at the world through victim’s eyes strips you of your personal power. You make yourself redundant in your own life—stuck, miserable and depressed in your vortex of misery. The only way to move from this place is to live by the philosophy ‘When I change, everything changes’.

Being a victim is a choice; it is not something you were born with. It is learned behaviour, which means you can make a new decision to unlearn this soul-destroying behaviour in any given moment. If you are in the habit of blaming others for your unhappiness and your situation in life, it can help to examine from where the victim mentality originated.

Were your parents always blaming other people and situations for their unhappiness or circumstances in life? Have you learned the same behaviour? Is the environment where you work negative? Have you picked up your work mates’ negative habits? Are you socialising with people who complain and moan about how miserable their lives are? Are you mixing with people who gossip and judge others? Are you spending time with people who have bad habits such as drinking excessive alcohol or taking drugs? Have you fallen into the same bad habits?

The key to changing your circumstances is to make a new decision. You do not have the power to change the people in your life, but you do have the power to change the way you react to them and how much time you spend with them. Your life will change the minute that you choose to step up and make new choices about how, where and with whom you spend your time.

Simply having the awareness that you are part of the problem in creating your unhappiness instantly gives you the power to move forward and take action. Action means doing; it means making an effort and making changes. Action means work, discipline and commitment. It means owning your crap and doing something about it instead of dumping it on everyone else.

“Continuing the same behaviour and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.” Albert Einstein

The possibilities of having an amazing life are endless with an attitude adjustment and some serious personal development work.

Join me on our Facebook live chat this Thursday at 1pm EST to find out how to move forward from this soul destroying place


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