How NOT to do Depression

The meanings we associate with the things in our lives, which are shaped by our own personal psychology, our world view and the beliefs and values we’ve created due to our experiences shape and direct our lives.

As an example, two people may experience the same event. After the event one person thinks, “I am being punished; I might as well die”, and someone else thinks, “I am being challenged. This is the greatest gift I’ve ever received”. The perceptual difference not only affects the quality of each person’s life, but what action they will take next.

Once a meaning is established, each individual will have a pattern of emotions that they associate with this meaning as their natural way of coping, otherwise known as their state.

The variance in meanings and emotions people can generate is unlimited. These emotions are driven by three forces that mould the meanings we take from those emotions. The three primary patterns that drive emotion are:

Patterns of Physiology – how you use your physical body, such as breath, posture, movement and exercise.

Patterns of Focus – whatever you focus on, you will feel. What you focus on depends on your values, your rules for fulfilling those values and your global beliefs.

Patterns of Language/Meaning – as soon as we put words to an experience, it changes the meaning we give it. The words we put to an experience have to do with the questions we habitually ask ourselves, the metaphors we habitually use, and the incantations we use on ourselves, such as “I am fearful” or “I am courageous”.

When a person is in a state of anxiety or depression, they invariably have a posture that is slumped, shoulders rolled forward, head tilted forward and down, eyes looking down and shallow breathing. They are focused on the problem, and their language is such that it exacerbates and energises the problem. With this physiology, focus, language and meaning, the person is in a very unresourceful state.

A happy, confident person, on the other hand, stands tall, chest open, shoulders back, head up, eyes looking forward and deep breathing. They are focused on the solution, and their language is such that it gives energy and momentum to solution based thinking. A much more resourceful state, don’t you think?

As a coach, understanding these patterns of physiology, focus, language and meaning and how to implement them means I can change a client’s STATE in a very short space of time. I am talking seconds and minutes here, not days, weeks and months. Changing these patterns is so simple, yet so powerful.

Most people don’t realise that emotions are not things that happen to us; emotions are things we do. When we engage in patterns of physiology, focus and language resulting in a meaning to create certain emotions, we are in essence following a formula for feeling that way.

The aim is to not only be aware of your current pattern, but to have the knowledge and skills to shift from a dis-empowered to empowered state in any given moment by changing the pattern you are experiencing in that moment.

Patterns of physiology, focus and language fire off emotions, which in turn create meanings which determines the decisions we make and the quality of our lives. Emotions do not come from outside of us. We create our emotions through our physiology, focus, language and meaning.

To change this dynamic and respond to situations in a more empowering way we need to interrupt our current limiting patterns and create new empowering patterns.

We will do this by defining the patterns you engage in to create specific emotions and then start to condition yourself to only ‘do’ the emotions that empower you.

Find our how on our Facebook Live chat this Thursday 1pm EST


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *